At Mission Roll Call, veterans consistently tell us that mental health and suicide prevention are their top priorities. These are not abstract statistics or distant issues — they are real challenges that affect real people, every single day. That’s why it is critical to hear the lived experiences of veterans and amplify their voices. 

Stories like Don Legun’s not only shed light on what it feels like to live with depression but also help others recognize warning signs in themselves or their loved ones.

Meet Don Legun

Lieutenant Don Legun is no stranger to discipline, resilience, and achievement. Before his military career, he was an elite college gymnast and a respected gymnastics coach, known for bringing out the best in his athletes. He also taught high school industrial arts, investing in young people and building confidence both inside and outside the gym.

When the opportunity arose to fly, Don changed course. He went through Aviation Officer Candidate School and became a Naval Flight Officer (B/N), flying the A-6 Intruder. Over his 10-year career, he logged more than 1,000 flight hours, completed 200 carrier landings, and deployed three times. He later taught marketing and sales in the Officer Recruiting Command, and then managed flight schedules and coordinated training exercises for deployed air wings.

After leaving the Navy, Don’s entrepreneurial spirit led him to open a windsurfing and kite shop and launch an award-winning “Learn to Windsurf” school. He also volunteered in local classrooms, using kites to teach kids the principles of flight.

In the final months of Don’s service, he incurred a new battle to conquer. Due to environmental and emotional events while serving, depression entered his life. While this underlying challenge often undercuts his drive, it has also fueled a deeper purpose: to understand his own journey and share it so that others might survive theirs. As Don puts it, “It provides purpose for my pain.”

Don also writes and speaks about his experience, including in his book, My Side of Depression.

Mapping the Experience

For years, Don searched for ways to understand and manage his depression. During one particularly difficult period of medication adjustment, he began to notice a pattern. His depression didn’t simply arrive in an instant — it unfolded step by step. Small shifts were built into more consuming changes until he felt cut off entirely.

So he started keeping track. Each time his depression deepened, he wrote down what he was experiencing. Over time, he realized that his journey wasn’t random. It followed a recognizable sequence.

What he discovered has resonated with other veterans and civilians who’ve read his work. Many said they saw themselves in his description, recognizing familiar patterns in their own lives.

The Depression Progression

Depression looks different for everyone, but Don’s careful notes highlight how it can progress if left unrecognized or untreated. Here are 17 common signs (broken into 7 categories) to watch for in yourself or in someone you care about:

DISTANCING

1. Lack of eye contact – avoiding meeting eyes in conversation, looking down often. 
2. Disengagement – no longer starting conversations; giving short, closed responses. 
3. Anxiety or restlessness – a tense, on-edge feeling, like the body is fighting itself. 
4. Seeking solitude – turning off music, withdrawing to a bedroom or quiet space.

FATIGUE

1. Fatigue – feeling tired all the time, lacking energy for normal activities.

SHORT FUSE

1. Irritability – snapping at others, becoming frustrated over small things. 
2. Frustration – nothing feels satisfying; a sense that life is working against you. 
3. Impatience – low tolerance for mistakes, responding with quick anger.

UNPROVOKED ANGER*

1. Persistent anger – staying angry without a clear reason; feeling like a different person. 
2. Anger turned inward – frustration with oneself for not “being normal,” which fuels more rage.

SELF-RECOGNITION

1. Loss of joy – activities, music, or hobbies that once brought happiness now feel empty or painful. 
2. Awareness of impact – recognizing that your mood is dragging others down but feeling powerless to change it.

DETACHMENT

1. Avoidance of others – pulling away socially, feeling out of place, or being unable to connect. 
2. The “curtain” effect – a sense of being cut off from the world, able to see it but not engage with it. 
3. Isolation – ignoring calls, staying in bed, sleeping excessively, limiting interactions.

GIVING UP

1. False comfort – growing used to withdrawal and convincing yourself it’s fine to be left alone. 
2. Suicidal thoughts – believing you are a burden, thinking of ending your life, and even planning it.

These signs don’t always appear in the same order, and not everyone will experience all of them. But being aware of the progression can make it easier to notice shifts sooner, and step in with support before things reach a crisis point.

One of the most important lessons Don learned is that support isn’t a straight line. That’s why Mission Roll Call created a Mental Health Thermometer, a companion tool that visualizes these stages and shows how different types of support can help at any point along the way. 

The resources on the thermometer aren’t listed in order, because there is no single “right” way to get help. Depending on where you are in the progression, you might use one, several, or all of these options at different times:

• Friend in Confidence: Sometimes the first step is the simplest: talking to someone you trust. Opening up to a friend or loved one can help you process what’s happening before it deepens. 
• Peer Groups: Shared experience matters. Connecting with others who’ve walked similar paths can reduce isolation and remind you that you’re not alone. 
• Counselor: A licensed counselor can help you recognize patterns, develop coping tools, and work through underlying issues. 
• Seek Professional Help: If symptoms persist or worsen, reaching out to a mental health professional, such as a psychologist or psychiatrist, can make a meaningful difference.
  • Psychologist: Talk therapy is often the first step. Psychologists help you recognize patterns, develop coping tools, and work through underlying issues in a non-medical setting. They can also advise when additional treatment may be helpful.
  • Psychiatrist: If medication is recommended, either by a psychologist or another doctor, a psychiatrist is the specialist best equipped to prescribe and manage mental health medications. They monitor side effects, adjust doses, and guide you through the process. Medication is not one-size-fits-all, so professional oversight is essential. 
• Hospital: If you feel unsafe with your thoughts or believe you might act on them, going to the hospital is a vital and life-saving choice.

*A note on safety: If you’re experiencing intense, unprovoked anger or emotional outbursts that feel beyond your control, taking proactive steps to protect yourself and others is an act of strength, not weakness. Consider storing firearms or other weapons securely, with access managed by a trusted person who understands your situation. Depression can distort thinking and override logic, and limiting immediate access to lethal means during volatile periods can be a powerful preventive measure.

Above all, help is always available. If you or someone you know is thinking about suicide, call the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline at 988 (press 1 for the Veterans Crisis Line). This free, confidential support is available 24/7.

Why It Matters

Don’s courage in naming his stages and sharing them openly is exactly why Mission Roll Call exists. When veterans tell us that suicide prevention is a top priority, we don’t just listen. We amplify voices like Don’s to bring understanding, resources, and hope to others.

Depression can feel isolating, but as Don shows, even in the darkest stages, there is a way to recognize what is happening and reach for help.

This is just the beginning. Mission Roll Call will continue to share more articles and resources in partnership with Don and other mental health thought leaders, so together we can advance awareness, prevention, and support for every veteran and family.

If you or someone you know is struggling, call the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline at 988 (press 1 for the Veterans Crisis Line). You are not alone.